At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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