...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
