i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
