Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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