Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
