Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You can't special order awesome
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Randomize
