dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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