Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
