you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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