I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
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Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
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She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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