i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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