Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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