Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
