My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
