Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize