You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
