CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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