all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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