If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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