Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize