matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
