I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Randomize