Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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