she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
