Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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