i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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