ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
In America we eat man semen.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
