We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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