He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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