I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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