Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
pray to the hookup gods
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize