U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
