her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
