I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize