Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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