ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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