im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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