okay pat passed out under dana's car
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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