I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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