you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
