i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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