: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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