that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
