i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
