I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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