You're so nebulous sometimes
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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