We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
