did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
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I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
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Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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