he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
