haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I need moral support for this bender
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
