in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
