You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
