operation have a gay friend backfired
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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