I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize