i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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