so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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