My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
