actually, I'm a sock model
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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