I love black thongs
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
