btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
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So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
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I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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