Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
