I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
