Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
