what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
The uberlube is also flammable
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
