Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
