hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
